“Wine is a drink for boys. Port for men.” - Winston Churchill

The Telegraph ran a story on Saturday about an English vineyard called Renishaw Hall performing fungal checks on the feet of volunteer grape stompers in what was Im sure meant to be a great human interest piece about the method of production.

Quite who, at the vineyard thought it was a good idea to say that they always make sure there are no ‘minging feet’ is probably regretting that right now, despite the humour that was injected into the writing.

Foot stomping is the ancient method of preparing the grapes for fermentation but it’s largely died out now due to the development of cheaper mechanical methods.

It’s still fairly common in the Douro valley where Port is produced and in parts of Spain, but in the rest of the world, it only makes a comeback as a tourist attraction.

Yes, people go to vineyards to stomp grapes for the experience, and some producers even have festivals arranged around the practice - is the world getting dafter or what?

The reason stomping is required is because as the grapes start to ferment in their juices, carbon dioxide is created and this rises to the surface taking the skins and fruity lumps with it and the stomping just keeps these items in the mix which maximises their impact on the flavour.

If you get past the possibility of ‘minging feet’ though, foot stomping offers a big advantage over mechanical crushers, especially for the vineyards aiming for high quality over production volume and it’s down to the seeds.

Foot pressure isn’t high enough to break the seeds which can impart an astringent taste to the wine.

Actually, ‘minging feet’ isn’t really an issue anyway because the balance of acidity, alcohol and sugars in the production of wine kill off human pathogens anyway, and I’ve never tasted foot in any wine I’ve ever tried, and I’ve tried a few minging wines in my time.

Just as an aside, foot stomping is an age old mechanical method of churning liquid and the Romans famously used it to clean their laundry.

Interestingly the liquid they cleaned their laundry in was human urine and it was common to see pots outside laundries for passers by to relieve themselves in.

Back to the world of wine however, and the correct term for foot stomping is pigage which means ‘punching down’ although why anyone came up with a name to describe it is beyond me.

Today’s topic reminds me of a story told to me by the owner of one of Ports big houses and it refers to the portholes often found in the side of the large wooden troughs or vats used in that region.

A guest at the port house had asked if it was perhaps for passing something through, like an air pipe to aerate the mixture but reacted with horror when told it was just to make it easier for foot stompers to have a pee without breaking off work.

I’m sure he was only joking of course and I can confirm I’ve definitely never drank a bottle of port that tastes like wee.

If any wine producer reads this, please note that I have a double bed sized bath available for stomping in exchange for a few bottles.

Pip pip for another week.

Taylors 20 Year Old Tawny

Figs almonds and caramel all rolled into one liquid dessert. Who needs pudding?

Wine Rack £36.99

Niepoort LBV

Dirk always makes fabulously rich yet extremely soft and appealing ports. A complex mix of dried fruits, figs and spice.

Ten Acre Wines £22.50

Gerard Richardson MBE, drinks columnist for Newsquest